Published May 8th, 2007
Fashion catastrophe
I’ve never been much of a girly-girl, and as I’ve gotten older I’m less so. Sure, I like to look cute, but I just can’t be bothered with all the rigmarole. Rarely do I wear makeup, and I often go months without getting my hair trimmed. After all, when I cook I just slick my hair back into a ponytail and place a chef’s skullcap on top (I don’t think my clients would appreciate my hair in their food).
Mind you, when I do eventually get my hair cut and colored, I absolutely love it and wonder why I didn’t do so sooner. But inevitably several more months go by before I make another appointment (although given all the compliments I’ve received on my recent haircut, I think I’ll be visiting my hair stylist much more frequently).
Then there’s clothes shopping. UGH! I just can’t be bothered. However, my weight loss over the past two years has made shopping a necessary evil (yes, it’s a nice problem to have). I’m pretty much set for my winter clothes, but now that spring is here it’s time for a few more. Plus we have our France trip coming up, so my wardrobe needs to be classed up a bit. I just don’t think jeans and my Curious George, Spongebob Squarepants or Blinky the Eyelash Mite t-shirts are going to cut it in Paris. But I just detest the whole clothes-shopping experience.
As a tall woman, trying to find clothes that fit well has been a life-long hassle. During my teen years, if it weren’t for men’s Levis I’d be walking around in high-waters. (The men’s Levis came in different inseams, whereas the women’s jeans just came in a standard inseam). On the rare occasion I found women’s jeans or slacks that were long enough, I didn’t care how much I paid; they were MINE! These days it’s a bit easier finding longer pants, but I still often have to shop online to find them.
The other thing I hate about shopping is the sales clerks. Sure, they try to be helpful — “Is there anything I can help you find?” — but the problem is I rarely know WHAT I’m looking for. I’ll know it when I see it. I doubt if I were to say, “Yes, I’m looking for shoes/pants/tops/shorts/what-have-you that are cute, fit me well, don’t cost too much, are in a color I like, or in a color I don’t normally buy but once I try it on I see how flattering it is, are well made and aren’t too trendy. What do you have?” they’d know how to answer. So I just say, “No thanks, I’m just browsing.”
I also hate the whole clothes-trying-on ordeal. Inevitably I have to try on all sorts of sizes, so I end up sweaty with staticky hair. Plus, nothing makes me feel fatter or dumpier than the mirrors and lighting in a dressing room. And what’s up with those rooms with half doors? I’m tall, people! I don’t want to be showing the entire world my jumblies when I’m trying on tops. That’s probably why I end up with a lot of clothes from Costco. I just throw the item into my cart (sometimes in a couple of different sizes), try it on at home in front of MY mirror under MY lighting. If it doesn’t fit I just take it back and spend the money on a bag of peanut butter-filled pretzels. Easy peasy.
So, where I’m I going with this rant?