Eat Drink Run Woman

I’ve been meaning to post my race report from my very first 50K, but recovery has taken a higher priority. However, procrastination has its rewards, as I can now weave the Biggest Loser marathon debacle into the report (gotta keep this blog topical, ya know).

So what does the Biggest Loser have to do with a 50K? Not much, really. But if you watch the show, you probably know it also doesn’t have much to do with FINISHING a marathon. At least not in Dane Patterson’s case.

I was tipped off about the alleged cheating soon after the race (the Arizona Desert Classic on January 31). It’s a relatively small Maniac-centric race; most of the runners know each other, and given it’s an out-and-back course you know where you place throughout the race. One marathon finisher posted her account of what happened on the Biggest Loser forum, stating she saw Dane and his wife behind her at the turnaround. Imagine her surprise when she saw them again in FRONT of her at Mile 23. Turns out they were picked up by a van at Mile 17 and driven for several miles (according to Carli Patterson, they were “only” driven 3 miles; I find that suspect).

After I read about this on the Maniac forum, I was curious to see how they would portray it on the show. Sure enough, last night Dane was voted off, and during the “Where are they now?” segment they showed him “finishing” the marathon, along with his wife. The real shocker? They claimed he ran a sub 4-hour marathon (3:53:xx). The clock actually states 5:53:xx, but the caption underneath clearly states 3:53. In addition, both Dane and his wife talk about the elation of running “an entire marathon.” I’d point you to the video, but NBC has since removed it from the site. (BTW — the Desert Classic race director was tipped off and Dane and Carli were disqualified).

I’ve been a fan of the show for several seasons, although I’ve been getting turned off by the product placements and back stabbing. It used to be a very supportive show, and now not so much. With this latest charade, I think my BL viewing days are over. Mind you, I do think Dane and his wife ran at least 17 miles, which is indeed impressive given he’s still a big guy. But it’s irresponsible to claim he was able to run a full marathon in under 4 hours. I just think that’s a slap in the face to anyone who has trained for — and ran — the entire distance. (And yes — the fact they claimed he ran the marathon a minute faster than MY marathon PR really chaps my hide!)

Granted, I realize this is television and they’d have red faces if they couldn’t show them getting their medals. They probably realized by mile 17 they wouldn’t be able to finish within the 6-hour time frame, so the gave them a ride. In reading comments on other blogs, forums, etc., a lot of people say that it’s still “inspirational.” Perhaps, but to me it would have been MUCH more inspirational if they either showed him NOT finishing, or finishing well after the time limit, then having him acknowledge what an incredible feat it is to run a marathon and that he’s going to train even harder for the next one in order to earn his medal.

But again, what the heck does all this have to do with my 50K this past Sunday? Well, while my “official” time states 5:45:00, there should be an asterisk next to my name. I can’t in good conscience rail against Dane and not fess up to my own deceitfulness.

Originally my darling and I were going to run the Birch Bay Marathon, but when he was called out of town on business, I decided I didn’t want to make the drive by myself, opting instead for the Yours Truly 50K. That race is a virtual one started by a runner in Finland; you simply run 31 miles on either January 24 or February 22 (or both), then post your time on the Yours Truly site. However, one of the Maniacs marked out a course along the Cedar River Trail so that people would have an aided race.

While the original course was a 2-loop out and back, runners during the January 24 race found the course had to be re-routed due to a bridge that was out. So rather than running 2 loops, they had to run 4 (which apparently was rather boring). As a result, about a week before the February 22 race they announced two courses would be supported — the original Cedar River Trail, or another in Puyallup. I decided to stick to the original plan, however, I had no idea how many other runners would be there (I figured there would be a few, as the director would have canceled that course if it was only me!) But that contributed to my trepidation over the race; not only would my darling NOT be cheering me on at the finish, there was a chance I’d be running much of the race by myself.

A couple of days before the race they announced there was a clear detour around the bridge, so we now had the option to run the original course. That sounded great to me! I dropped my darling off at the airport the morning of the race, then headed to Maple Valley. My fears of running alone were allayed as I pulled into the parking lot; there were at least 15 other runners. However, the race director had not yet arrived. Since this was such a casual race it was no big deal, and we were just about to take off when he pulled into the parking lot. He asked for a show of hands for who was running the original course and who would be running the 4 loops, then proceeded to describe the detour around the bridge (he actually recommended following someone who had run it before). A couple minutes later we were off.

I started running with a couple of other Maniacs, one of whom was also running her first 50K. While I had thought about trying for a 5:30 finish, I could tell from the get-go this wasn’t going to happen. I knew I’d be following a run/walk strategy, and I was quite slow during the running portion. After a mile I bid my running partners adieu in order to take my first walk break. I actually was looking forward to running solo, as I had just gotten the news one of my personal chef friends died unexpectedly two days before and I was going to run this race in his honor. He was a Jersey boy, so I had loaded up my iPod with Jersey-centric music, including the soundtrack to “Jersey Boys,” as well as a bunch of songs by Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi.

Although it appeared the weather wouldn’t cooperate, it turned out to be a fabulous day. There were a few sprinkles during the first 45 minutes, but the rain soon stopped and there were several sun breaks.

As I neared the detour I was thankful to see a couple of runners stopped to show us where to go as it was a tad confusing. At the now non-existent bridge we had to run down a short, steep section into a residential area, then back up a longer, even steeper section back up to the trail. From there the trail gradually climbed for a little over four miles to the turnaround. Although I was running slow, I felt pretty good, maintaining a 1-mile run/.1 mile walk ratio. But as I was finishing my first loop I decided to change course and run to the bridge and back twice to finish the race. (I figured it would be a mental boost knowing I was within four miles of the finish). Turns out several other runners decided to do the same thing.

I got another mental boost once I hit 27 miles as that was the longest distance recorded on my Garmin (the Marathon du Medoc route came in at 26.94 miles). By then my walk breaks were more frequent, but I still was pushing myself. As I neared the finish I was surprised to see some flour markings on the course; I thought perhaps they were for a different race (clearly I wasn’t thinking straight). Finally, the finish line was in sight and I exhaustedly staggered across in 5:42:48.

The race director congratulated me on finishing my first 50K, offering me a hot bowl of chili. I wasn’t quite ready for that, but I did scarf down several pretzels and cups of water. I mentioned the course registered a bit short (Garmin measured 30.94 miles), which surprised the RD as several runners commented the course was long during the January 24 run. I then hobbled to my car to call my darling, ditch my Garmin and change into a dry shirt.

As I was enjoying my bowl of chili and a Coke the two runners who steered me through the detour came in. I joked with them about finishing before them, then they said they still had the short out and back to run. WHAT? I looked at the race director and he confirmed I needed to run out to the flour markings for the full 50K. DAMMITALLTOHELL! I toyed with not doing it — after all, Garmin was only .06 short and I had run to the port-o-potty at the beginning (about .25 mile round trip) — but in the end I knew I had to do it. I decided not to grab Garmin, figuring it would be about a .2-mile roundtrip to the flour markings and back. My whole body rebelled, but I did it.

When I finished I asked the RD if I could state my time as an even 5:45; he said sure (there was no timing clock at the end; each runner recorded his or her time). But herein lies the dilemma. Technically my time would be over 6 hours if you added in my break, but had I known I was supposed to run to the flour markings, then my actual time would have been about 5:45.

So there you have it. Call me Scammy McCheatster. I will hang my head in shame the rest of my days.

(And if you’re as upset about the Biggest Loser misrepresentation, you can join the Facebook group “Biggest Liar: Real Marathoners Against Dane and NBC.”